Quill & Chill

Welcome back, kinksters! Today we dive into the mischievous and sometimes contentious world of “Topping from the Bottom.” This term refers to a bottom (submissive) who gets a bit bratty and tries to control the scene, despite negotiations stating they should submit. While it can be annoying, it can also be an intentional part of the scene, adding layers of complexity and fun. So, let’s explore this playful dynamic!

What is Topping from the Bottom?

Topping from the bottom occurs when a submissive attempts to control or direct the scene. While it can disrupt the flow, some enjoy this playful power struggle.

Acknowledging Your Submissive Side

To understand topping from the bottom, let’s first define what it means to be submissive in BDSM terms:

submissive (sub): A person who willingly gives up control to their Dominant (Dom/me) in a consensual power exchange dynamic.

Types of submissives

• Service Submissive: Enjoys performing tasks and services for their Dom/me.
• Brat: Challenges their Dom/me, often playfully, and enjoys pushing boundaries.
• Pet: Adopts animalistic behaviors, seeking care and affection.
• Slave: Seeks a deeper, often more formalized power exchange, with strict rules and structure.

Matching submissives with Their Dominant Type

Just as there are different types of submissives, there are corresponding Dominant types that best match their energy:

• Service Submissive: Paired well with a Service Dom who enjoys receiving tasks and being pampered.
• Brat: A natural fit for a Brat Tamer, someone who enjoys the playful resistance and knows how to tame it.
• Pet: Complements a Handler, who loves nurturing and caring for their “pet.”
• Slave: Matches well with a Master/Mistress, who appreciates a structured and formal power exchange.

Scenarios of Topping from the Bottom

Topping from the bottom can manifest in various ways:

• Roleplay: In age play, a submissive roleplaying as a little girl might try to manipulate their “Daddy” into giving them what they want.
• Bratting: A brat might deliberately misbehave to provoke a reaction or punishment from their Dom/me.
• Subtle Control: Even in subtle ways, a sub might guide the Dom/me through suggestions or reactions, steering the scene to their liking.

😈Brats: The Playful Submissives😈

Brats bring a unique energy to the dynamic. Here's a closer look at their psychology and behaviors:

Playfulness and Provocation

Playfulness: Brats enjoy bringing a sense of fun and mischief to their interactions. Their playful antics are designed to tease and challenge their Dominant, creating a dynamic and engaging power struggle.

Provocation: Brats often provoke their Dominant intentionally to elicit a reaction. This can involve mild defiance, cheeky comments, or playful disobedience. The provocation is a way for the brat to invite their Dominant to reaffirm their control and authority.

Attention Seeking

Desire for Attention: Brats thrive on attention from their Dominant. Their behavior often stems from a need to be noticed and engaged. By acting out, they ensure that their Dominant’s focus remains on them, reinforcing the bond between them.

Validation: Through their actions, brats seek validation from their Dominant. When a Dominant responds to a brat’s behavior, it validates the brat’s role and importance in the dynamic, providing a sense of security and belonging.

Boundary Testing

Pushing Limits: Brats love to push boundaries to see how far they can go. This behavior is not about disrespect but about exploring the limits of their relationship. By testing boundaries, brats encourage their Dominant to assert control and maintain the power dynamic.

Exploring Dynamics: This boundary testing helps both the brat and the Dominant understand the dynamics of their relationship better. It can lead to a deeper understanding of each other’s limits, desires, and expectations.

Emotional Expression

Expressing Emotions: Brats often use their behavior to express emotions they might not verbalize directly. For example, a brat might act out if they feel neglected or want more attention. This indirect expression can be a way to communicate needs and desires within the dynamic.

Channeling Energy: The playful and rebellious energy of brats can be a way to channel their emotions constructively. By engaging in bratty behavior, they can release pent-up energy and emotions in a controlled and consensual environment.

Psychological Safety

Safe Space for Rebellion: Being a brat allows for a controlled environment where rebellion and resistance are safe and consensual. It provides an outlet for the brat to explore different facets of their personality without fear of real-world consequences.

Trust and Security: The brat-Dominant dynamic requires a high level of trust. Brats trust that their Dominant will handle their behavior appropriately, and Dominants trust that the brat’s actions are a form of consensual play. This mutual trust creates a secure and safe space for exploration.

😈Misconceptions About Brats😈

Disobedience vs. Playfulness

Misconception: Brats are disobedient and disrespectful.

Reality: Brats are often misunderstood as purely disobedient. In reality, their behavior is rooted in playfulness and a desire for interaction. They push boundaries not out of disrespect, but as a form of playful engagement. Their antics are usually an invitation for their Dominant to respond, reinforcing the power dynamic in a fun and challenging way.

Lack of Respect

Misconception: Brats lack respect for their Dominants.

Reality: Brats hold a deep respect for their Dominants. The dynamic involves mutual understanding and clear communication. A brat’s actions are often a way to test and reaffirm the Dominant’s control, not a sign of disrespect. When boundaries are clearly set and respected, the playful defiance of a brat can enhance the connection between partners.

Disruption of the Scene

Misconception: Topping from the bottom always disrupts the scene.

Reality: While it can be disruptive if not consensual, many couples find that topping from the bottom adds a layer of excitement and spontaneity to their play. It can challenge the Dominant to think on their feet and assert their control in creative ways, making the scene more dynamic and engaging.

Not Serious About Submission

Misconception: Brats are not serious about their role as submissives.

Reality: Brats are very much committed to their submissive role. Their way of expressing submission is different, often involving playful resistance and boundary testing. This type of interaction can be deeply fulfilling for both parties when understood and managed well.

Only for Experienced Players

Misconception: Topping from the bottom is only suitable for experienced BDSM practitioners.

Reality: While experience can help navigate these dynamics more smoothly, newcomers can also explore this aspect of BDSM with proper communication and guidance. It’s essential to establish clear boundaries and trust, regardless of experience level.

Undermines Dominance

Misconception: Topping from the bottom undermines the Dominant's authority.

Reality: When consensual and understood, topping from the bottom can actually reinforce the Dominant's authority. It provides opportunities for the Dominant to assert control and demonstrate their command over the situation, even in the face of playful resistance.

Brat-Taming: Tips and Tricks

1. Consistency: Set clear boundaries and be consistent in enforcing them. This helps the brat understand what is acceptable and what isn’t, reinforcing the power dynamic.

2. Rewards and Punishments: Use a balanced approach of rewards for good behavior and fun punishments for bratty actions. This keeps the dynamic playful while maintaining control.

3. Communication: Keep open lines of communication to ensure both parties enjoy the dynamic. Regular check-ins can help address any concerns and keep the play consensual and enjoyable.

Dominants’ Perspective on Topping from the Bottom

For dominants, topping from the bottom can be a double-edged sword. It can be frustrating, but also add an exciting challenge. To include it in your play:

• Set Clear Boundaries: Establish what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.
• Embrace the Challenge: See it as an opportunity to reinforce your dominance.
• Communicate: Discuss your feelings about it and adjust your scenes accordingly.

Communicating About Topping from the Bottom

Whether you enjoy topping from the bottom or not, communication is key. Here’s how to approach the conversation:

• Before the Scene: Discuss your preferences and boundaries.
• During the Scene: Use safe words or signals to navigate the power dynamics.
• After the Scene: Have a debrief to talk about what worked and what didn’t.

Topping from the Bottom vs. Bottoming from the Top

While topping from the bottom involves a submissive trying to control the scene, bottoming from the top refers to a dominant taking a more passive role but still retaining overall control. It’s essential to differentiate the two:

Topping from the Bottom: Submissive-driven control attempts.

Bottoming from the Top: Dominant-driven, passive direction.

More Info

Here are some resources for further education on topping from the bottom, brats, and other related BDSM dynamics:

Books

• "The New Topping Book" by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
•    - This book provides a comprehensive guide for tops and dominants, with insights into handling various submissive behaviors, including bratting.
• "The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge" edited by Tristan Taormino
•    - A collection of essays by BDSM experts that covers a wide range of topics, including power dynamics and bratting.
• "SM 101: A Realistic Introduction" by Jay Wiseman
•    - A foundational text that covers the basics of BDSM, including dynamics between tops and bottoms.

Websites and Online Communities

• FetLife
•    - A social networking site for the BDSM community. You can join groups and discussions specifically about bratting, topping from the bottom, and other related topics.
• Kinkly
•    - An educational website offering articles, definitions, and resources on various BDSM topics, including topping from the bottom and brats.
• Submissive Guide
•    - A resource dedicated to submissives, with articles and guides on various submissive behaviors and how to navigate power dynamics.

Podcasts

• "Off the Cuffs: a Kink and BDSM Podcast"
•    - A podcast that explores various aspects of kink and BDSM, often featuring guest experts who discuss different dynamics and practices.
• "The Dildorks"
•    - A podcast about sex, kink, and sexual lifestyles, offering insights and discussions on a wide range of topics, including BDSM and power dynamics.

Workshops and Classes

• The BDSM Workshop
•    - Offers online and in-person workshops on various BDSM topics, including power dynamics and handling

😈Embrace the Playful Power Struggle😈

Whether you love or loathe topping from the bottom, it’s an opportunity to explore deeper layers of your dynamic. Embrace the playful power struggle, communicate openly, and most importantly, have fun with it! Ready to dive into more mischievous fun? Share your thoughts and experiences with us, and let’s keep the conversation going. Happy kink exploration!